bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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