if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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