I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
