Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
