I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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