whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
