Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
