Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
