You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Randomize
