Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
