oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
