Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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