you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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