its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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