You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
