Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Vodka?
Forever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
