How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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