This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
