If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
