just come out here and I will go home with you...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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