Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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