Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
