Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
