4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
