She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
