It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
