he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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