is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hippo gnu deer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
