i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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