the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
