): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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