I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
