At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
