Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
