Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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