I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
