Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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