be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
