when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
