I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
