i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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