you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
