I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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