Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
