R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
