Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
