I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
