omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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