i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
