You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
