I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
